Chapter 7 Revising Activity3

• The point of view keep change from parents, children, and teacher.
• The thesis for this draft is not very clear for me. The thesis in this draft was one of suggestion for double-income family to reduce the risk for letting little kids stay at home alone. But it never mention other suggestion.
• Some support point is irrelevant or not true. 
• Longer school hours doesn't necessary increase the time for teacher to help. Instead, the kid might need to learn more and have even more questions. The parents still need to help their kid with homework.(Paragraph 2)
•  Longer school will increase the pressure for teacher not relieve . (in paragraph 4.)

 Revision:

The Extended School Day

    Imagine a seven-year-old girl home alone because her parents work till five every night. There are lots of thing could happen to her, whether she is good or not. Being curious could get her in trouble. Accidents could happen even though she did not do anything wrong. In the United States, there are lots of "latchkey" children like this girl. A way to deal with this problem could be the lengthen of school hours for elementary school.  
    The longer school hour allow the parents to concentrate on their job. Parents don't have to worry whether the kid is safe at home by themselves in the work time. The nervousness of letting kids home alone would be solve.  They can still help the kids with homework when arrived home. Extended school could also reduce the financial burden of hiring a home sitter. Having a sitter can increase the budget of family but not necessary solve the question. Parents still need to worry whether the person is reliable or not.
    It's a fact that many students dislike school, which is sad for education in this country. Even so,however, the longer school would benefit the children, too. Obviously, by the time the bus drop them off, one of the parents will be home waiting for them. Longer school hours also provide children opportunity to work on their weak subject. Furthermore, it gives students the chance to participate in extracurricular activities such as  join a science club, play on a softball team, sing in a school chorus, and take an art class.
      Finally, extended day would also benefit teacher. Longer work-hour increase the pressure and responsibility for teacher ,however, increase the wage at the same time. For the teacher who enjoy the times with his or her students, longer school hour also provide them more time with those lovely children. 
    Implementing an extended school day would be expensive, but, according to the benefit of it, I feel that many communities would be willing to finance the cost. The home alone young kids and double-income family need this extended school day now.